Sometimes it's the most uncomfortable thing that needs doing the most.

Maybe it's making those calls to the network you haven't activated in a while or having a difficult conversation to reinstate your boundaries with a tricky team member who's trodden on them (again).

Sometimes the uncomfortable thing is the only thing that will lead to change.

Because staying cosy, wrapped up in a little comfort zone blanket is guaranteed to slow your growth.

I get uncomfortable with asking for things from other people.

Asking for help feels particularly gut churning but recently, I've had to get over myself, because, as I've discovered, it takes a village to write a book. I've had to ask people if I can interview them, use their stories, ask others to be beta readers and others still to put their name to those endorsements we find on the inside jacket of books. And it's been uncomfortable for me at times.

Even more uncomfortable is asking for testimonials. I almost never do it, imagining that my clients are all way too busy to write these or convincing myself that if they wanted to offer me a testimonial then they just would - they'd say something on LinkedIn and publish it for all to see, wouldn't they?

Probably not - we're all so busy with our own stuff that we don't often stop to think what others might need and understandably so!

And as Pappa Rourke is so fond of saying, 'If you don't ask, you don't get.'

The reality of the situation is, the more I ask of people, the more they give. Willingly, happily and they want nothing in return. And the more goodness that flows to me, the more encouraged I am to consider how I can either help that person directly (now or in the future) or pay it forward somehow. And this has become my new rulebook for interacting with my network. I receive, I give. Or sometimes I just give - that's another little rule - can I offer help to someone with no intention at all of receiving anything in return? Yes, I can! It's my game.

Taking away the urgency of reciprocating immediately helps the discomfort fade. So does removing the pressure to pay back the favour directly to that same person. And adding in the 'give without agenda' rule makes it fade further.

Don't get me wrong - the rules of this new game don't mean the discomfort disappears overnight. I have to keep reminding myself of my rules and how it's ok to play my game like this.

What about you?

Think about a situation where you feel a little stuck or something you just want to move forward on.

What's the uncomfortable thing you have to do to pop the cork?

What rules can you implement in your game to ease the discomfort?

Your situation will be different from mine. After all, we're all unique humans running around trying to play the main game, in our own particular way.

See you soon,

Sarah

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Reader, if this got you thinking - whether about how to succeed in your own career or how to support others doing the same - I'd love to stay in touch.

You’re always welcome to reach out for a conversation - be that for coaching, tools for your managers, or something more bespoke.